another night wistfully longing for sleep

Spend all your time waiting
For that second chance
For the break that will make it okay
There's always some reason to not feel good enough
And it's hard at the end of the day
I need some distraction
Or a beautiful release
Memories seep through my veins
Let me be empty
And weightless and maybe
I'll find some peace tonight

Sarah McLachlan, In The Arms of An Angel 

 

yay me!

Yay! I fixed the double-space problem between the links! Woo hooo!!! That's been bugging me for a long time & my room mate (A.K.A "Mr. Computer") had no time to show me how to fix it. Well, I did it! And I finally figured out how to add new links, some long, long overdue. "Mr. Computer" always did that stuff before because my comprehension skills were so bad. So check out the new links!

Oh! And I added Zippy the spider (just because I COULD)! So click on the little "more" button & feed the little fellow, how 'bout it?

Why am I so excited about such small accomplishments? Because the fact that I was able to do them can only mean one thing--my brain function is improving!!!! (Dare I hope?)

One of the biggest problems I had besides memory loss was the inability to learn new tasks. Even tiny ones. I have to write everything down to know how to do simple things that the ordinary person does without thought. I noticed lately that I am actually doing things without having to read the notes! That's astounding!!! My memory in general has improved significantly! I still can't remember a lot of things. There's a lot of blank spaces. I think they're permanently erased & maybe it is for the best. Some of the lyrics I wrote during "blank space" times make me shudder. It would be nice to be able to selectively remember--all of the precious & none of the vile.

So here am I, daring to hope my brain will continue to improve.

Happy dance!
lalalalalalalalaaaaaa! 

drifting away

...into the abstract
in terms of how i see myself

sometimes
i think i can see right through myself
sometimes
i can see right through myself

NIN, Only 

silence

Give me release
Witness me
I am outside
Give me peace

Heaven holds a sense of wonder
And I wanted to believe that I'd get caught up
When the rage in me subsides

Passion choked the flower
'Til she cries no more
Possessing all the beauty
Hungry still for more

Heaven holds a sense of wonder
And I wanted to believe that I'd get caught up
When the rage in me subsides


In this white wave
I am sinking
In this silence
In this white wave
In this silence
I believe

Sarah McLachlan, Silence 

Apologies for the messy blog...a bit sick, will set it straight soon.

 

Where Oh where did my sidebar go, Oh where, Oh where can it be?

 

 

 

 

let me fall...

Let me fall...
Let me climb...
There's a moment when fears & dreams must collide

Josh Groban, Let Me Fall 

sing along!

If I sing a song will you sing along
If I sing a song will you sing along
If I sing a song will you sing along
Or should I just keep singing right here by myself?

If I tell you I'm strong will you play along
If I tell you I'm strong will you play along
If I tell you I'm strong will you play along
Or will you see I'm as insecure as anybody else?

If I follow along does it mean I belong
If I follow along does it mean I belong
If I follow along does it mean I belong
Or will I keep on being different than everybody else?

"Sing Along", Blue Man Group featuring Dave Matthews from "The Complex" CD 

wilder than your wildest dreams

Too much is not enough
Nobody said this stuff makes any sense
We're hooked again
The point of no return
See how the buildings burn, light up the night
Such a pretty sight

Adrenaline keeps me in the game
Adrenaline--you don't even feel the pain
Wilder than your wildest dreams
When you're going to extremes
It takes adrenaline

You don't feel the pain...

Sail through an empty night
It's only you & I who understand...there is no plan
Get closer to the thrill that only time can kill
It's in your eyes--
It's so alive!

Adrenaline keeps me in the game
Adrenaline--you don't even feel the pain
Wilder than your wildest dreams
When you're going to extremes
It takes adrenaline

Running through the speed of sound
Everything that slows you down
All the colors that surround
All bleeding into one
The only thing you really need
Just a way to find the speed
And then you will achieve
Escape velocity

Too much is not enough
Nobody gave it up--
I'm not the kind
To lay down and die!!

Adrenaline keeps me in the game
Adrenaline--you don't even feel the pain!
Wilder than your wildest dreams
When you're going to extremes
It takes adrenaline

Adrenaline, screaming out your name!
Adrenaline, you don't even feel the pain!
Wilder than your wildest, wildest dreams
When you're going to extremes
It takes adrenaline

Adrenaline, adrenaline, adrenaline...

You don't even feel the pain!
You don't even feel the pain!
Cause you're going to extremes!
And there's nothing in between!
It's where I want to be!

I'm going to extremes!
I'm always in the pain!!
And I'm going to extremes!
And theres nothing in between!!
There's nothing in between!!
When I'm going to extremes
There's nothing in between...

You don't even feel the pain, feel the pain,
Feel the pain, feel the pain...

"Adrenaline", Gavin Rossdale
(One very intense song.) 

take me gently into morning...

Take me gently into morning
For the night has been unkind
Take me to a place so holy
That I can wash this from my mind

Sarah McLachlan, "Answer"