Fractal Explorer and Apophysis 

ultra fractal, layered 

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Imagine "What would it be like if you lived each day---every breath as a work of art in progress? Imagine that you are a Masterpiece unfolding every second of every day...a work of art taking form with every breath." Thomas Crum  

We look before and after, And pine for what is not: Our sincerest laughter With some pain is fraught; Our sweetest songs are those that tell of saddest thought. Shelley, To A Skylark 

"Wistful Dreams" "Though dreams can be deceiving...like faces are to hearts; they serve for sweet relieving when fantasy and reality lie...too far apart" Fiona Apple, Slow Like Honey 

vague intensity 

escaping the maelstrom 

Fading Away...... 

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Delicately fragile...yes, that is me. I wondered should I put on a false front, find an image that depicts a cheery strong facade and not something that is an image of vulnerability? Don't we all want to look good & strong in the face of difficulties, brave & cheerful despite any odds? Ever stable. appearing at peace? Projecting those vibes that will draw respect and approval, acceptance? I confess that I looked, I tried to create an image tonight that would show all these wonderful traits...but they just were not real. This image is real. The fragility, the vulnerability, the pain of the pieces of my life seeming to fly away as I am helpless to catch them, swirling helplessly in this dance of confusion and pain. I made the choice to be real. This blog is me, not mere images & I will keep it that way, even if no one wishes to view it again. I would rather be real than just one more lie in this world. Not just for my own personal integrity, though that is a major issue of importance to me. But also, because I do not know what I will remember even days or weeks from now...I must be real so that when I look back at this I can know who I really was...not just some persona. This image I posted today is delicate, it is raw exposure of what is happening to me. Perhaps tomorrow will bring some strength. If that is so, that is what you will see. I will be real---so avert your eyes if you must. We will all see something different in these images. I hope you see something beautiful inside of you, regardless of what I post of me... 

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Today my mother got a long awaited phone call from my sister. She is alive, she has had water and food. She is still in the French Quarter and may be evacuated to Georgia though she (characteristically) wants to stay and help the others trapped, to help in some way. She was very fortunate. I am relieved but exhausted. Having difficulty holding my thoughts together and feeling grateful for my sister's survival but so very pained for the others--the magnitude of the losses and the damage. My health has deteriorated due to stress and lack of sleep yet I absolutely cannot imagine what it has been like for those more ill than I who were actually there. Even the healthiest of people suffered & the death count rises. Relief mixed with grief and sadness that goes farther and deeper than 10,000 miles. Help for many came, too little and too late. Thank you all for your thoughts and kind words. To my dear loving and very gentle friends, thank you for the tender way you didn't leave me alone with this. Your kindness meant the world to me. I must lay down now.

l'ombre de la mort 

lives are ripped and torn apart at the seams...my heart in silent anguish screams 

Thank you for caring. We still do not know anything about my sister. I hope tomorrow we hear something. I wish I could pull everyone out of there with my own hands. I wish I could magically make it all a bad dream and wake everyone up to a beautiful new day. I wish I were numb. I am sure I am not the only one.

Do You Know What it Means to Miss New Orleans - lyrics by Eddie DeLange

Do you know what is means to miss New Orleans?
I miss it, each night and day
The longer I stay away
Miss the moist covered vines
The tall sugar pines
Where mocking birds use to sing
And I like to see the lazy Mississippi
Are hurrying to spring
The Mardi Gras memories
Of creol tunes that fill the air
I dream of oleanders in June
And soon I'm wishing that I was there
Do you know what is means to miss New Orleans
And there is something more
I miss the one I care for
More than I miss New Orleans